Aha, I recognise that word invincible and that is who I believed myself to be too. In truth, it kept me stuck for years; it stopped me being vulnerable, being able to connect because I believed my role was to take care of everyone and it stopped me relaxing and having fun. I know the 'why's' now, but I'm also slowly letting go. When my life imploded, some of my class participants told me they were so shocked because they'd always put me on a pedestal, but that just meant I had further to fall. Keep being curious and letting go of the 'invincible Jada'; the best is yet to come. 💫💛
Great article that I can deeply relate to. Scares the living crap out of me to have any type of medical test, because I don’t want bad news. Sometimes I avoid doctors like the plague, but keep up on the important stuff like mammograms. I find that acupuncture every 3 weeks is my best preventative practice.
I am basically not anything like what society thinks an older woman should be, and I have finally come to accept that I will always stand out for being eccentric.
So who am I? I am a Mom of adult kids (and hopefully Grandma someday), an explorer, world traveler, adventure seeker, social butterfly, teacher, writer, philosopher, volunteer, feminist, and divorcee who is finally free of a constraining marriage. Mix in nature lover, beach bum with gills, Disney and Star Wars fanatic, and Democrat with a very loud-mouth screaming for social justice in a country gone nuts.
That about sums me up. I will copy that for my headstone someday. 😂
I smiled reading your list because it felt like meeting a real person instead of reading a résumé. We spend so much of life introducing ourselves by what we do, and your comment was a great reminder that who we are is always the more interesting story.
Most women can answer that question privately long before they can say it out loud. The not knowing is rarely the problem. Having nowhere safe to say it usually is.
Chrisha, that image really stuck with me. We don't arrive at this stage with a blank slate—we bring every lesson, mistake, and success with us, and somehow that makes the next chapter even more interesting.
Whoa! I don’t always enjoy your questions, but I too am on a journey. My journey is not travelling (at least for now), but to decide who I want to be. I’ve started and am taking a few small steps.
I’m a lot older than you but age won’t stopped me.
Once again I find myself smiling and nodding while sifting the wisdom you share through my 70+ years of lived experience. The neutral zone - I love that idea. As a former hockey mom (decades ago) the neutral zone will always have a hockey connotation. Here’s what I’ve found - the neutral zone is a moveable feast. As I shift and transition so does that weird space. I am never completely free of it which is a good thing. It’s a smaller space and not at all intimidating the way it once was. I’ve made friends with it I think..well perhaps it’s more of a very friendly acquaintance. Thanks again for giving me something to chew on and ponder. Answer to your second question is faking it - happiness, contentment, satisfaction…answered it over twenty years ago and didn’t even know it ☺️!
Thank you for your comment Melanie. I find your definition of “movable feast” fascinating. I think you might be right about never being free of it… and that is a very good thing indeed!
This resonated deeply. The idea of the “neutral zone” stayed with me. It echoes a realization I’ve been writing about recently—that there comes a point when we’ve outgrown the person we worked so hard to become, and that isn’t failure, it’s growth. Thank you for such an honest and thoughtful piece.
I’m so glad it resonated for you 🤍. Sometimes others think I don’t need to continue the work of removing layers and looking at the woman I was, and the woman I am now. Becoming. Unbecoming. All of it swirling together 💫
I love that phrase—“becoming and unbecoming.” It reminds me that the second half of life isn’t about becoming someone entirely new; it’s also about gently letting go of the parts of ourselves we’ve outgrown. Thank you again for putting words to something so many of us feel but struggle to describe.
Second adolescence is exactly right, with one difference. At fifteen you were becoming someone for the first time. At fifty-five you are becoming someone while holding everything you already built. That is why it feels electric and terrifying at once.
Old identity leaving, new not clear yet. Sitting in-between. I thought I finished peeling of the layers but I realized, the process is peeling off the layers and integrating everything we found and then from scratch. Can take some time…lol, until our last breath. 🙃💫 worth it anyway. 🩶
Thanks for introducing me to the term ‘the neutral zone.’ It’s funny how you experience something and know it exists yet don’t have the vocabulary to describe it.
Gorgeous, honest, relatable writing. Thank you. I am doing the same — slowfulness finally "To let this backdrop, this generous, beautiful country, actually seep into me, which is something I could not have allowed anywhere else, in any faster life or in a too-tight but beautiful farmhouse in Illinois." I have been in a massive deconstruction—reconstruction that began with a broken leg that meant three of us in the house in wheelchairs. Life is so good at giving us initiations. Blessings to you.
I appreciate being able to walk with you through this process. I'm having a similar experience. It certainly can be painful to wrestle with these questions and helpful to know that I'm not alone. Thanks, Jada! 🙏
I am right there with you. Not in Portugal but feeling like I no longer fit in my old life as a single woman, with grown children, having lost a partner, life feels too hard as it was and I’m yearning for quiet, simple and renewal. My body is not the same, my mind is living past, present and future all in one complete thought. Thank you for making space for the in between and sharing your journey.
Waiting rooms might be the purest in-between there is. Nothing to do but sit between the question and the answer and decide which story keeps you company while you wait.
Aha, I recognise that word invincible and that is who I believed myself to be too. In truth, it kept me stuck for years; it stopped me being vulnerable, being able to connect because I believed my role was to take care of everyone and it stopped me relaxing and having fun. I know the 'why's' now, but I'm also slowly letting go. When my life imploded, some of my class participants told me they were so shocked because they'd always put me on a pedestal, but that just meant I had further to fall. Keep being curious and letting go of the 'invincible Jada'; the best is yet to come. 💫💛
Great article that I can deeply relate to. Scares the living crap out of me to have any type of medical test, because I don’t want bad news. Sometimes I avoid doctors like the plague, but keep up on the important stuff like mammograms. I find that acupuncture every 3 weeks is my best preventative practice.
I am basically not anything like what society thinks an older woman should be, and I have finally come to accept that I will always stand out for being eccentric.
So who am I? I am a Mom of adult kids (and hopefully Grandma someday), an explorer, world traveler, adventure seeker, social butterfly, teacher, writer, philosopher, volunteer, feminist, and divorcee who is finally free of a constraining marriage. Mix in nature lover, beach bum with gills, Disney and Star Wars fanatic, and Democrat with a very loud-mouth screaming for social justice in a country gone nuts.
That about sums me up. I will copy that for my headstone someday. 😂
Oh gosh I love this 🙌🏻. What a rich description of who you are. Inspiration right here in this comment, Bonnie 🤍
I smiled reading your list because it felt like meeting a real person instead of reading a résumé. We spend so much of life introducing ourselves by what we do, and your comment was a great reminder that who we are is always the more interesting story.
Most women can answer that question privately long before they can say it out loud. The not knowing is rarely the problem. Having nowhere safe to say it usually is.
Chrisha, that image really stuck with me. We don't arrive at this stage with a blank slate—we bring every lesson, mistake, and success with us, and somehow that makes the next chapter even more interesting.
Whoa! I don’t always enjoy your questions, but I too am on a journey. My journey is not travelling (at least for now), but to decide who I want to be. I’ve started and am taking a few small steps.
I’m a lot older than you but age won’t stopped me.
Good luck to us both.
Once again I find myself smiling and nodding while sifting the wisdom you share through my 70+ years of lived experience. The neutral zone - I love that idea. As a former hockey mom (decades ago) the neutral zone will always have a hockey connotation. Here’s what I’ve found - the neutral zone is a moveable feast. As I shift and transition so does that weird space. I am never completely free of it which is a good thing. It’s a smaller space and not at all intimidating the way it once was. I’ve made friends with it I think..well perhaps it’s more of a very friendly acquaintance. Thanks again for giving me something to chew on and ponder. Answer to your second question is faking it - happiness, contentment, satisfaction…answered it over twenty years ago and didn’t even know it ☺️!
Thank you for your comment Melanie. I find your definition of “movable feast” fascinating. I think you might be right about never being free of it… and that is a very good thing indeed!
This resonated deeply. The idea of the “neutral zone” stayed with me. It echoes a realization I’ve been writing about recently—that there comes a point when we’ve outgrown the person we worked so hard to become, and that isn’t failure, it’s growth. Thank you for such an honest and thoughtful piece.
I’m so glad it resonated for you 🤍. Sometimes others think I don’t need to continue the work of removing layers and looking at the woman I was, and the woman I am now. Becoming. Unbecoming. All of it swirling together 💫
I love that phrase—“becoming and unbecoming.” It reminds me that the second half of life isn’t about becoming someone entirely new; it’s also about gently letting go of the parts of ourselves we’ve outgrown. Thank you again for putting words to something so many of us feel but struggle to describe.
Second adolescence is exactly right, with one difference. At fifteen you were becoming someone for the first time. At fifty-five you are becoming someone while holding everything you already built. That is why it feels electric and terrifying at once.
This is spot on Chrisha!
This is such a good reminder to stop waiting for the "perfect time."
Resonated deeply with me. 🩶
Old identity leaving, new not clear yet. Sitting in-between. I thought I finished peeling of the layers but I realized, the process is peeling off the layers and integrating everything we found and then from scratch. Can take some time…lol, until our last breath. 🙃💫 worth it anyway. 🩶
Beautiful 🤍
Once again Jada you have made me think, given me comfort and some inspiration. Such a generous offering
Thanks for introducing me to the term ‘the neutral zone.’ It’s funny how you experience something and know it exists yet don’t have the vocabulary to describe it.
Gorgeous, honest, relatable writing. Thank you. I am doing the same — slowfulness finally "To let this backdrop, this generous, beautiful country, actually seep into me, which is something I could not have allowed anywhere else, in any faster life or in a too-tight but beautiful farmhouse in Illinois." I have been in a massive deconstruction—reconstruction that began with a broken leg that meant three of us in the house in wheelchairs. Life is so good at giving us initiations. Blessings to you.
Thank you for your kind words. “Life is good at giving you initiations” is a beautiful sentence. Blessings and speedy healing ❤️🩹
I appreciate being able to walk with you through this process. I'm having a similar experience. It certainly can be painful to wrestle with these questions and helpful to know that I'm not alone. Thanks, Jada! 🙏
You are not alone! There are so many of us asking this question 🙌🏻
I am right there with you. Not in Portugal but feeling like I no longer fit in my old life as a single woman, with grown children, having lost a partner, life feels too hard as it was and I’m yearning for quiet, simple and renewal. My body is not the same, my mind is living past, present and future all in one complete thought. Thank you for making space for the in between and sharing your journey.
Waiting rooms might be the purest in-between there is. Nothing to do but sit between the question and the answer and decide which story keeps you company while you wait.