Recess for the Soul: Reclaiming Childhood Wonder in Midlife

The healing power of play in body, mind, and soul

The day we sold our house, something unexpected happened. Beyond the obvious liberation from maintenance and mortgages, there was a subtle shift in our inner landscape. Without walls to paint, lawns to mow, or closets demanding organization, we found ourselves with an abundance of life's most precious commodity: time freedom—and even more importantly, freedom to play.

As a therapist specializing in inner child healing, it’s not surprising the changes that bring the deepest healing occur when we connect with our inner smaller selves. There is a remembrance that takes place. When there is less demand on our time, there sneaks in what we took for granted as kids - a blank slate with the opportunity to let the day unfold based on our whims, means of transportation ( my two feet, perhaps some roller skates, and my yellow bicycle). The day opened with infinite possibilities which ended when the street lights came on signaling the understood and accepted time we all made our way back home. No cell phones. No life 365. Our parents had no real idea where we were, but we generally traveled in packs and kept each other safe. It was the way things were then. Our imaginations led the day. And the days were filled with play.

Photo by Rene Bernal on Unsplash

The Science of Joy

I have always loved science. I was a Biology major and Chemistry minor in college and the hard sciences have always been the backbone of my professional life as a physician assistant and therapist. I love the research around what we instinctively knew when we built blanket forts as children or created an entire village from acorns in the forest. Research reveals what children have always known – play isn't just fun, it's fundamental. When we engage in playful activities, our brains release a cocktail of feel-good chemicals: dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin. But beyond the biochemistry, something more profound occurs. Play activates neural pathways associated with creativity, problem-solving, and emotional regulation. We're not just having fun; we're rewiring our brains for resilience and joy.

That type of resilience made our generation one of the toughest around. Problem-solving was part of the fun. How do we reach the candy store on our bikes without going on a major street? Who’s mom do we need to sweet talk to set up the sprinkler in the yard? What is the best strategy for catching lightning bugs? And that kept us sharp. We need that as we approach midlife too. We don’t want everything figured out for us. Where is the fun in that? Creating some unknowns at this stage of life allows for the adventure we craved as kids to return. It’s win, win. But if we stuff ourselves with too much “stuff”, we are burdened with how this may limit our mobility and chance for adventure.

Unburdened Living

There's a peculiar irony in how we've constructed adult life: We accumulate possessions meant to bring comfort and status, only to find ourselves imprisoned by their care. Each item demands a slice of our attention, time, and energy—the very resources we could be investing in our well-being.

When we chose to release our grip on our possessions, we discovered that fewer possessions meant more presence. Without the constant hum of home maintenance and material management, we could hear something else: our soul's whispers of adventure.

I have another article on the Swedish Death Cleanse if you want to read it Here.

The Dance of Soul and Soles

Imagine waking up and asking yourself not "What needs to be done?" but "Where shall we play today?" This isn't irresponsibility – it's radical self-care. When your soul leads your soles, every step becomes an adventure:

- A spontaneous hike when the morning light calls

- A dance class in a new city or a new Pilates class at the gym

- An impromptu afternoon picnic by the sea

- A bike ride through unexplored streets or on a dirt path through a forest

Without the anchor of possessions, we're free to follow our intuition, to let joy be our compass.

The Wellness Connection

This playful approach to life isn't just about fun – it's a sophisticated wellness strategy. The mind-body connection becomes especially clear through play. When we're playful, we naturally breathe more deeply, move more freely, and release muscular tension. This physical relaxation then feeds back to calm our nervous system and improves our mental state.

Even brief periods of play can create lasting positive effects. A 10-minute dance break or spontaneous game can shift both our physiological state and psychological perspective. It's a powerful form of self-care that's often overlooked in our achievement-focused culture. When we prioritize play:

1. Our stress levels naturally decrease

2. Our bodies move in varied, natural ways

3. Our social connections deepen through shared joy

4. Our immune systems strengthen through reduced stress

5. Our cognitive flexibility expands

6. Our creative expression flows more freely

There's a myth that playfulness belongs to youth. But what if the opposite is true? What if play is the very elixir that keeps us young? In cultures known for longevity and well-being, play isn't separate from daily life – it's woven into the fabric of existence.

The Soul's Playground

When we let wonder be our guide, life becomes less about maintaining and more about becoming. Each day offers a fresh invitation to play, explore, to delight in the simple joy of being alive.

This isn't about escaping responsibility – it's about responding to life's deepest invitation: to live fully, joyfully, and playfully. Without the weight of possessions anchoring us to one spot, we're free to dance with life itself. This is a different way to view life. It’s not how I envisioned life in my 50’s. But here we are.

On our walk to the gym the other day I shared with my husband that I feel more alive now that I have confronted my death by doing the Swedish Death Cleanse. Detaching from stuff has been more freeing than I imagined. No one I knew lived life with this much attention and intention to play, joy, passion, and adventure. It felt too indulgent in some way.

As a clinician, I see too often the diagnosis of physical illness (and often autoimmune illnesses) when life is lived with the attention focused on duty and the inability to say “no”. Especially in the healthcare field, I am often expected to put the needs of others before my own, but this is not a healthy or sustainable practice. Loving ourselves through play and in the receiving of joy is healthy. Prioritizing loving ourselves with the infusion of play also enhances our well-being.

Accessing Your Intuitive Guidance System

But there is a deeper level of healing that occurs when we reconnect to the smallest part of ourselves. It also unlocks our intuitive superpowers and allows us to hear the whispers of our souls. Connecting with your inner child can indeed be a powerful way to access your intuitive wisdom. When we're young, we often have a more direct line to our intuition - we simply know what feels right or wrong, without the layers of overthinking that tend to accumulate as we age.

Think of how a child naturally gravitates toward what brings them joy or instinctively pulls back from situations that don't feel safe. They haven't yet learned to override these internal signals with "shoulds" and rational justifications.

By reconnecting with this younger part of ourselves, we can:

• Notice our first gut reactions before the analytical mind kicks in.

• Trust our body's wisdom and physical sensations.

• Feel more permission to follow what lights us up.

• Move away from what drains our energy without needing to justify it.

• Make decisions from a place of authentic desire rather than obligation.

• Recognize when we're trying to please others versus honoring our truth

This connection also helps quiet the inner critic that often drowns out our soul's guidance. Children don't naturally have harsh inner critics - that's something we learn. So when we access that childlike state, we can more easily hear the gentler, wiser voice of our intuition.

Your Invitation to Play

The world is your playground, but only if you see it that way. Your soul knows the way to joy – it's been whispering to you all along. Maybe it's time to listen, to let your feet follow where your spirit leads.

What game would you play if nothing held you back? What adventure calls to your soul? Where might your feet take you if you simply said yes?

Remember: We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.

Your soul is waiting to lead your soles on the adventure of a lifetime. Are you ready to play?

Many struggle with this reunion with their inner child or wonder where to start. I have resources to help you re-establish your connection. You can explore them here: https://linktr.ee/SoulviaSole

The picture below was on the island of Porto Santo in Portugal where we rented bikes, took to the streets, had a lunch by the ocean, and then got caught in a rainstorm on the way back! I felt like I was 10 again trying to find the way to the candy store on the back streets.