This post is so vindicating. I have plenty of friends who will skip sleep to chase waterfalls, party into the wee hours, and then roll into camp at dark o'clock for a sunrise start—and I'm glad for them (and jealous!) but that could never be me. I need my sleep!!
The line about guilt being loyalty, not information, is the one I’ll keep. That reframe does something a to-do list never could. So many of us hit our fifties still running someone else’s rules about what earns rest, long after the household that wrote them is gone. Retiring the programme is harder than retiring the alarm, but you’ve named exactly where to start.
Hi Jada, it's so interesting when we try to change behaviours that we've had for decades isn't it. I too always either ran very early or went to the gym before starting work for years and it's taken time to shift to different patterns. When we're deeply embedded in the same routines, there's no space for change as we're caught up in repeating cycles. It's great to now have the time, space and desire to look at what we want at this point in our lives. I really struggled with not being needed initially, but now I love it! I can be involved in family life and enjoy it, but then step back into doing my own thing. Enjoy your week and restorative sleep 😴 💫
You are so right. Releasing old patterns and expectations is hard. It is so nice to have the time and space to linger and explore and feel the freedom of being and not being needed right now. It feels strange to me still. I have more to release I think! Have a wonderful week 🙌🏻
I loved this, especially your distinction between guilt and loyalty. That stopped me. I think so many women assume the discomfort they feel when they rest means they're doing something wrong, when often it's just an old belief system protesting as they outgrow it. The line that stayed with me was, "The guilt isn't information... it's loyalty." That's such a powerful reframe. Thank you for reminding us that rest isn't something we have to earn, it's part of how we care for the life we're trying to keep living well.
Once again Jada, you had me nodding. As we went through each layer, I could see myself. I envy anyone who can accept those changes without feeling they have to fight against them to maintain them.
This post is so vindicating. I have plenty of friends who will skip sleep to chase waterfalls, party into the wee hours, and then roll into camp at dark o'clock for a sunrise start—and I'm glad for them (and jealous!) but that could never be me. I need my sleep!!
The line about guilt being loyalty, not information, is the one I’ll keep. That reframe does something a to-do list never could. So many of us hit our fifties still running someone else’s rules about what earns rest, long after the household that wrote them is gone. Retiring the programme is harder than retiring the alarm, but you’ve named exactly where to start.
I love this comment Philippa. You are exactly right that the programming is much harder to retire than the alarm!
Hi Jada, it's so interesting when we try to change behaviours that we've had for decades isn't it. I too always either ran very early or went to the gym before starting work for years and it's taken time to shift to different patterns. When we're deeply embedded in the same routines, there's no space for change as we're caught up in repeating cycles. It's great to now have the time, space and desire to look at what we want at this point in our lives. I really struggled with not being needed initially, but now I love it! I can be involved in family life and enjoy it, but then step back into doing my own thing. Enjoy your week and restorative sleep 😴 💫
You are so right. Releasing old patterns and expectations is hard. It is so nice to have the time and space to linger and explore and feel the freedom of being and not being needed right now. It feels strange to me still. I have more to release I think! Have a wonderful week 🙌🏻
I loved this, especially your distinction between guilt and loyalty. That stopped me. I think so many women assume the discomfort they feel when they rest means they're doing something wrong, when often it's just an old belief system protesting as they outgrow it. The line that stayed with me was, "The guilt isn't information... it's loyalty." That's such a powerful reframe. Thank you for reminding us that rest isn't something we have to earn, it's part of how we care for the life we're trying to keep living well.
Yes! A system protesting! 🙌🏻
Once again Jada, you had me nodding. As we went through each layer, I could see myself. I envy anyone who can accept those changes without feeling they have to fight against them to maintain them.
It is a gradual releasing of the layers for me for sure… especially as I am needed less these days :) I’m so happy it resonated for you as well. 🤍
Yes. The third pillar. I believe this completely. I love that your life has changed to let you have good sleep. 👏🏻👏🏻
I love this so much. Very relatable. I love how much time I have to take care of myself now.