I jumped off the bridge at 42, left it all and followed my muse. At 65, I am past that midpoint. I applaud and encourage you to continue your journey. Freedom to be is precious. Why do we dread the description “selfish?” It means taking care of the self first. Only then can we reach out and help another.
You’re exactly right Salley. There is a reason we put the oxygen mask on ourselves first. 🤍. And bravo you for following the breadcrumbs in life to where they may lead.
Great post - you nailed this stage of life beautifully! I am a big fan of the Transitions book by William Bridges, too, and am trying to fully embrace 'the liminal space' before the next beginning. I really like your idea that we are all nomads internally, if not also externally.
Once again you have given depth of meaning for my own transitions. At 50 I was forced into transition by a really nasty divorce which ultimately was a gift of grace. At almost 72 I’ve learned so much about myself and finally (!!!) made it a mission to stop putting up with other people’s crap. My life may be viewed as small by some - so be it. I now CHOOSE my lifestyle, my freedoms, my joys, and even my angst because they are all part of how I express my being in this world. Over and over I find myself nodding in agreement with your words. I am so amazed at how much in common women’s lived experiences actually are by age 50 or so. Thank you once again for your thoughtful insight. I so enjoy your essays.
I just turned 50 but my kids are still middle school and high school so I am in a funny place. I feel like I am in the 20 part of life. I am going through it with them which is kind of fun
I understand for sure. My youngest graduated from college last year. While they all were just starting their young adult lives, I felt like I was starting my “second” adult life 🙌🏻
Thank you for these beautiful and insightful posts. I became a nomad at 45, and I’m still working on laying the bricks of my new bridge at almost 50. (I.e., I’m five years into my gap year!) My purpose is still unclear, but I’ve simply been “moving toward what feeds me,” and I’ve never been happier.
Second adolescence is exactly right, with one difference. At fifteen you were becoming someone for the first time. At fifty-five you are becoming someone while holding everything you already built. That is why it feels electric and terrifying at once.
Hi Jada. I'm exactly where you are, but I haven't hit the new country yet. I talk about this in a different way and from a different perspective in my post that is scheduled for Tuesday July 14. Take a look if you'd like. But I think you hit the nail on the head. Midlife is absolutely a second adolescence, a time of establishing a new identity, especially for women. We have so often been defined by our careers, our motherhood... We have rarely had the opportunity to fully define ourselves, especially those of us who are in midlife right now because of the social constructs that defined us as adolescents the first time around. I am loving the freedom to explore my passions, to define my own identity. Is it confusing? Sometimes. Is it electric? Absolutely. Is it overdue? Most certainly. But mostly, it's the first time in my life I have felt truly free. Thank you for articulating this!
I loved reading this! Yay to you for exploring your passions and defining your identity. I agree, this time in life is like a breath of air we didn’t know we needed. Bravo you. I look forward to reading your article! 💫
I love how you defined “nomad” in this essay. Knowing this might explain why that word has resonated with me for so long. I also didn’t know about “moratorium”. I’ll have to hold onto that one also.
I'm still in the middle of this all, but I have been building my bridge for several years now. As exciting and freeing as it is, I just get tired of becoming. I feel guilty about it, like I should be building every day instead of stopping to rest. It's like a storm is coming if I stop and might sweep the start of the bridge I've made and I'll have to start again. But, when I do take a break I know I go back to the work stronger and make more progress. Do you ever feel that? Maybe it is because I'm still working full time and my teenagers are slowly leaving for college one at a time (only one left this fall). So, one foot still on the bank and the other on the bridge?
This makes complete sense and yes, there is still a foot on the bank so to speak. Sounds like rest is needed and is just as an important part as building 🤍
I jumped off the bridge at 42, left it all and followed my muse. At 65, I am past that midpoint. I applaud and encourage you to continue your journey. Freedom to be is precious. Why do we dread the description “selfish?” It means taking care of the self first. Only then can we reach out and help another.
You’re exactly right Salley. There is a reason we put the oxygen mask on ourselves first. 🤍. And bravo you for following the breadcrumbs in life to where they may lead.
Great post - you nailed this stage of life beautifully! I am a big fan of the Transitions book by William Bridges, too, and am trying to fully embrace 'the liminal space' before the next beginning. I really like your idea that we are all nomads internally, if not also externally.
Thank you Steve! Yes.. midlife nomads, all of us, in the transition phase of finally being able to follow what feeds us. 💫
That resonates SO strongly!
Once again you have given depth of meaning for my own transitions. At 50 I was forced into transition by a really nasty divorce which ultimately was a gift of grace. At almost 72 I’ve learned so much about myself and finally (!!!) made it a mission to stop putting up with other people’s crap. My life may be viewed as small by some - so be it. I now CHOOSE my lifestyle, my freedoms, my joys, and even my angst because they are all part of how I express my being in this world. Over and over I find myself nodding in agreement with your words. I am so amazed at how much in common women’s lived experiences actually are by age 50 or so. Thank you once again for your thoughtful insight. I so enjoy your essays.
Thank you Melanie for your kind comment and for sharing part of your journey. I love how you are designing a life that fits you 🤍.
Thank you. This describes exactly the stage I'm in.
I just turned 50 but my kids are still middle school and high school so I am in a funny place. I feel like I am in the 20 part of life. I am going through it with them which is kind of fun
I understand for sure. My youngest graduated from college last year. While they all were just starting their young adult lives, I felt like I was starting my “second” adult life 🙌🏻
Thank you for these beautiful and insightful posts. I became a nomad at 45, and I’m still working on laying the bricks of my new bridge at almost 50. (I.e., I’m five years into my gap year!) My purpose is still unclear, but I’ve simply been “moving toward what feeds me,” and I’ve never been happier.
I love this! Yay you for being brave and here’s to always following what feeds you 🤍
Second adolescence is exactly right, with one difference. At fifteen you were becoming someone for the first time. At fifty-five you are becoming someone while holding everything you already built. That is why it feels electric and terrifying at once.
Hi Jada. I'm exactly where you are, but I haven't hit the new country yet. I talk about this in a different way and from a different perspective in my post that is scheduled for Tuesday July 14. Take a look if you'd like. But I think you hit the nail on the head. Midlife is absolutely a second adolescence, a time of establishing a new identity, especially for women. We have so often been defined by our careers, our motherhood... We have rarely had the opportunity to fully define ourselves, especially those of us who are in midlife right now because of the social constructs that defined us as adolescents the first time around. I am loving the freedom to explore my passions, to define my own identity. Is it confusing? Sometimes. Is it electric? Absolutely. Is it overdue? Most certainly. But mostly, it's the first time in my life I have felt truly free. Thank you for articulating this!
I loved reading this! Yay to you for exploring your passions and defining your identity. I agree, this time in life is like a breath of air we didn’t know we needed. Bravo you. I look forward to reading your article! 💫
Very insightful. I am also in my fifties often saying "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up." It has been a bridge of rediscovery.
So, so good, Jada. I will be linking to this in my next post, on Tuesday.
Love that it resonates. Thanks Sherry! 🙌🏻
This is very much where my head has been lately. Thanks for sharing your perspective!
I love how you defined “nomad” in this essay. Knowing this might explain why that word has resonated with me for so long. I also didn’t know about “moratorium”. I’ll have to hold onto that one also.
I love it resonates for you! And moratorium is such a great word. 💫
What a beautiful description of this transition. Life is such a transitional experience yet often we don’t see it that way.
Thank you for your comment Tracey. Yes, we often don’t see the transitions until they are in the rear view mirror. 😊
Loved this! Really spoke to me as I transition to retirement in December! I’m calling it graduation as I’m finally leaving a school environment haha
Happy graduation day! 🙌🏻. I’m not quite there yet… still part time
This truly captures how those of us who need bridges can build them. You should look into the Modern Elder Academy.
I'm still in the middle of this all, but I have been building my bridge for several years now. As exciting and freeing as it is, I just get tired of becoming. I feel guilty about it, like I should be building every day instead of stopping to rest. It's like a storm is coming if I stop and might sweep the start of the bridge I've made and I'll have to start again. But, when I do take a break I know I go back to the work stronger and make more progress. Do you ever feel that? Maybe it is because I'm still working full time and my teenagers are slowly leaving for college one at a time (only one left this fall). So, one foot still on the bank and the other on the bridge?
This makes complete sense and yes, there is still a foot on the bank so to speak. Sounds like rest is needed and is just as an important part as building 🤍