Passport to Patience
Learning to Live on Portuguese Time
A Nationwide Power Outage Teaches Me the Most Valuable Portuguese Lesson.
Not that I want to make a habit of writing on my phone typing out my thoughts with my two thumbs, but circumstances have me now writing the initial thoughts on this post from seat number 24 on a local bus in Portugal.
I was supposed to be on a high-speed train right about now.
I tried to buy my train ticket online and kept getting an error message, which did not initially surprise me.
We have now been in Portugal for four months, in addition to the three months we spent exploring the country to find the right place to settle down for a bit of time. During this time, I have become accustomed to seeking face-to-face communication with local services. It is the Portuguese way of doing things I am finding.
There is a saying we learned when we first commented how many times you cannot find working websites or numbers or even anyone answering the phone for services, or the slower pace of getting things done in our culture of Amazon Prime or DoorDash expediency of expectations …
We were told it was called "Practicing Portuguese."
Because we are learning in Portugal, there is no need to be in a hurry- about anything.
Now, admittedly this is one of the attractions of living here and the laid-back lifestyle and approach to all things. The Portuguese have mastered something many of us from faster-paced cultures struggle with daily—the understanding that urgency is often self-imposed, and rarely serves our wellbeing.
"Practicing Portuguese" isn't just about language—it's about a fundamental shift in how you relate to time, expectations, and the unpredictable nature of life itself.
It's learning that the modern obsession with efficiency and immediacy is perhaps the very thing robbing us of presence.
Why be in a hurry? Sit down. Relax. Have a glass of wine. Maybe a pastel de nata and take a breath. The task will still be there after you've nourished yourself with moments of simple pleasure.
When the Train Doesn't Come
What is an adventure if things all go to plan?… and where is the opportunity to grow and learn even more about yourself and life when the best-laid plans go array…
We had just stepped off the delayed plane to Lisbon, missing the last morning train I had picked for our 4 hour trip to Tavira for our coveted AIMA appointment to complete the next step in our visa process and things had to go to plan.
Or so I thought.
After arriving in Lisbon, we needed to travel to Tavira, a town in the Algarve, the southernmost region of Portugal, near the border with Spain.
I tried to book the train tickets online in advance, but kept getting an error message, so decided I would need to go to the ticket counter and get a ticket at the train station.
I approached the ticket counter and asked for two tickets to Tavira in a mix of Portuguese and English.
But today, when we showed up to buy our bilhete (ticket) we were told there were no trains running today. Turns out there was a strike.
"Maybe tomorrow," I was told with a shrug.
"Try the bus," he offered casually.
Now, you see, I have been waiting for almost 18 months for the second part of my digital nomad VISA, the coveted AIMA appointment. 21 days ago, after daily emails (because they don't answer the phone and the website isn't available and instead directs you to call… you see where we are going with this) one of the 487 daily emails from our immigration attorney was answered.
An appointment was given and you do not miss this appointment. EVER,.
But here is where the adventure started and where we needed an extra helping of learning to practice the art of practicing being "Portuguese about it".
At first, my heart started pounding. No train? They were on strike. Maybe take a bus?
Learning public transportation is a superpower, but I wasn't in the mood to learn a new form today by deciphering the bus routes to our destination still hundreds of miles away.
"Take a breath," my husband said.
"Practice your Portuguese Patience."
I was so frustrated that I wanted to scream for choosing today to go on strike!
I had to get to this appointment!
My husband suggested we go get a coffee, and a pastel de nata and consider our options. (He is learning the art of being Portuguese much better than I am).
I reluctantly agreed. I mean, it’s hard to turn down a pastel de nata in any situation.
After discussing our plans, we decided to research the bus option for the five-hour journey on the next leg of our trip.
So after a failed attempt to buy them online, we began to walk around the train station looking for where the buses departed and looking for a place to buy bus tickets.
The Unexpected Journey
Riding a bus across the country is a new experience for me.
I take local buses all the time, but never one across the country.
Even though I was dehydrated from the plane ride, I dared not drink any water for the upcoming 5-hour bus ride. I didn't even know if there was a bathroom and only Portuguese was spoken.
I could hold it.
(Turns out they often have a planned stop along the route to allow for a potty break and to grab a snack)
We settled into our seats and I felt the stress start to melt away. I nodded off initially with jet lag catching up and awoke to fields of orchards out the large windows. I forgot how beautiful this part of the country was with rolling hills, gardens, orange groves, and acres of fig and olive trees. Watching the world from this seat felt rather relaxing and soon I was feeling grateful for this option to travel to a destination we had never considered before.
Hmm. This was an unexpected delight in our derailed train plans.
We arrived at the bus station, used the restroom, (as I started hydrating again), and searched for our next connection. After waiting for 30 minutes, I went inside to inquire about the second bus we were to board. She politely tells me the bus that just left, (which didn’t didn’t have our destination marked) turns out, was our connecting bus.
Next baby panic attack starts to rise.
But no… I will take a breath and practice my Portuguese…
We shift to find another means of travel for the remainder of our 40-minute drive to our destination. Fine, Uber it is.
The drive turned out to be beautiful and shorter than the bus route would have taken. This scenic journey brought us right to our accommodations, allowing us to arrive hours earlier than expected. We now have time to relax and enjoy a peaceful dinner.
Boom. Another unexpected “win” from our supposed “fail”.
When the Lights Go Out
After dinner, jet lag sets in again, and I wake up 12 hours later and we head to a local cafe for some coffee. I indulge in another pastel de nata because it's a pastel de nata. We go to order another coffee and find out the power is out in the restaurant. They are only serving bottled drinks. Cash only
Thinking nothing of it, we simply pay and walk to get more cash ( we only have about 10 euros after paying for dinner last night) only to find the 3 ATMs we try are not working. That seems odd. We head toward a bank and see they are turning people away. That's when I started to notice every light in every business was off.
Then comes the message from my attorney that there is a nationwide power outage affecting Portugal, Spain, and France. She mentioned that she was unsure if I would be able to attend the appointment given the situation.
The appointment! This might affect my appointment.
As a reminder… so far to get to this appointment:
We rearranged our return trip from the U.S. arriving a day incurring a change fee.
Followed by a 5-hour bus ride due to an unexpected train strike
And paid for two nights of accommodations in the town of the appointment.
After waiting 18 months and daily emails to finally get an appointment.
And now, the power was off in the entire country?
Is this a joke?
The Lessons of Powerlessness
Sitting in the Airbnb, after going to the AIMA office and indeed being turned away, we return deflated and much like turning low power mode on our phones, I too feel I have entered “airplane mode” in my body.
This will take even more learning the art of “being Portuguese” about it.
But then I look out the window and I see people having drinks and laughing. I see people playing cards and enjoying the day. People riding bicycles, unfettered by the power outage it seems as if the sun is shining on this warm spring day and it is not to be wasted, but enjoyed.
We would have been in a cafe as well but alas, we don’t have enough cash, and many of the businesses are closing early.
But there is a peace that settles in as the day ends and the night falls in the eerie darkness with no power.
As darkness falls, we light a candle and share the complimentary bottle of wine left for us.
It’s pretty amazing actually.
Then, at 10 pm, the lights in our Airbnb and in the town jolt back on, followed by the audible cheers from people in the streets and still at the cafes and bars.
The power is back on!
So what now…
We jump out of bed, my husband quickly goes to the bank ATM gets some cash and into the one open grocery store to get the night’s dinner, a can of beans, and fish.
We paired it with a nice vino branco from the Alentejo region!
And after a day of not eating… it was delicious.
So what am I learning...
The art of “practicing Portuguese” has taught me about patience and life.
There's a profound wisdom in the Portuguese approach that I'm only beginning to grasp. When your plans crumble—when trains strike, appointments dissolve, and entire power grids fail—you're faced with a choice: resist and suffer, or surrender and adapt.
The Portuguese seem to instinctively understand that life rarely conforms to our carefully constructed schedules and expectations. Their cultural response isn't laziness or inefficiency—it's a deep recognition of reality as it is, rather than as we wish it to be.
Practicing Portuguese means recognizing that our modern fixation on controlling outcomes is perhaps the greatest source of our suffering.
It's embracing the inherent uncertainty of existence instead of exhausting ourselves to fight against it. It's understanding that sometimes, the detour becomes the destination—and often a more interesting one than we had planned.
Some takeaway life Lessons on this trip:
Always have backup cash.
Keep your phones charged.
Have a portable charger (this saved us).
Canned beans and canned fish are pretty filling.
Wine tastes better in candlelight.
Sometimes the “wrong turns” or “train strikes” in life are beautiful hidden detours revealing new strengths and talents or a new way of seeing.
The forced blackout highlighted what matters in life… our health and our love.
Disconnecting to Reconnect
Living on an island, I feel like I am escaping the hustle and “grid life” in some ways.
Yearning to reconnect with myself and nature that comes from disconnecting—literally.
I believe there are more significant lessons here.
By purposely disconnecting and having ”Power out Evenings” with intention.
“Practicing Portuguese” is maybe more about taking life in the slow lane which in many respects is what is loved and sought after when moving or visiting Portugal. It is the intentionality to not be in a hurry. To take a deeper breath and perhaps enjoy the wine and the bread linger a bit and be patient with the flow of life.
This Portuguese way of being invites us to consider: What if life's interruptions aren't obstacles but invitations? What if the train strike, the power outage, and the missed appointment aren't failures but opportunities to experience something we wouldn't have encountered otherwise? What if our resistance to these disruptions causes more suffering than the disruptions themselves?
When we grip tightly to our plans and expectations, we close ourselves off to the unexpected gifts that often arrive disguised as inconveniences. Practicing Portuguese means holding our intentions lightly, remaining flexible enough to bend with life's unpredictable winds rather than breaking against them. It means finding joy in the detour, wisdom in the delay, and sometimes even purpose in the disappointment.
A Revolution of Presence
In a world increasingly obsessed with optimization and efficiency, there's something revolutionary about embracing a philosophy that values presence over productivity, connection over completion, and flow over force. It's counterintuitive to our achievement-oriented mindsets, yet deeply aligned with our human need for meaning, connection, and peace.
I have a mantra I often use with patients that I say to myself which can help me reframe what can be interpreted as a stressful situation or when we feel we are not in control when things go array in life.
I say to myself "Things are always working out for me".
I may not know what will happen, or why, but it allows me to let go of having control and trust that what I may not know about how things are working out is not my concern but to believe that what is for my best will show up for me.
How it shows up is not my concern.
Perhaps this is the heart of “practicing Portuguese”- this profound trust in life's unfolding. It's not about abandoning responsibility or goals, but about holding them with an open palm rather than a clenched fist. It's recognizing that our rigid attachments to specific outcomes often blind us to the beauty and possibilities present in each moment, even the challenging ones.
As I sit here reflecting on my "failed" mission to the mainland, I realize I've received exactly what I needed—not a visa stamp, but a deeper lesson in presence, patience, and perspective. The Portuguese haven't mastered efficiency, perhaps, but they've cultivated something far more valuable: the art of living well amid life's inevitable uncertainties.
I quite like “practicing Portuguese” as a way of life I am learning while living here in Portugal.
P.S. And now, as of this editing, we are back in Madeira, and received a notification I have a new appointment next week here on the island!
That was incredibly efficient and timely.
And…
Having my appointment in Madeira turns out to be better for me overall!
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Have you had your own experience with "practicing Portuguese" or similar cultural lessons in slowing down? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Thanks Jada! Who among us couldn’t benefit from taking a daily “chill pill.” What I love about your posts, as well as your lovely writing, is that those of us who are not in a position to be a Midlife Nomad can appreciate and benefit from your experiences as you are able to incorporate them into most of our daily lives. Well done!
Steve
This piece particularly spoke to me. Thank you Jada for sharing so thoughtfully about your experience. I’m learning similar lessons about living “on Mexican time.”